February 2017

As promised, I am back here again.

Life seems to have taken over and I have got back into the swing of things. I have had a job interview and I'm now the proud Mum of 6 guinea pigs and a hamster. I am also apparently mothering an expectant guinea pig so I am going to be a PigGrandma soon. I'm too young to be a Grandma!

 These are my beauties (I am *slightly* obsessed):

In reality, it is hard not to keep going over the past and what has happened; intrusive thoughts seem to have a way about them making it hard to block them out at times. But instead of using these negative flashbacks to punish myself and remind myself of bad times, I need to learn to embrace my difficulties and use them to show me how much better things are now.

 I realised in the past year that I no longer believe in 'recovery'. Don't get me wrong - many people who have had mental illness can 100% recover from this.  There are however many who will not fully recover.  Mental illness will be a part of their life. I don't want to sound depressing (!), but it is just the truth. As time goes on, things do get easier and you can learn how to manage your ill health, but it may not be gone forever. I have taken medication for my mental health for more than 10 years now, and it is unlikely that I will ever be able to come off them totally. This acceptance is key. Being in denial, or fighting the diagnosis won't help. I need to accept who I am and what I struggle with so that I can continue to move forward.

 Gotta go and check up on my little Muffin who apparently could have her babies any day!

 x



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