Reprogramming...

It has been over a week since I opened up this blog, feels like a lot longer though!!!

It is hard to describe how I am feeling at the moment. I think there is a part of me struggling with this 'new me'! I hear the question "who are you and what have you done with Rivkah?" coming from that part of me that is too scared to let go.

There is a certain comfort in sticking with your depression. It is safe. A place to be away from the real world which can sometimes seem too scary.

As a new week begins, I need to remind myself why I am doing this. The 'safety' that lures me to the depression is nothing but a dark, empty space. Nothing to do, no one to talk to and no purpose to being. Why would I want that?

Self talk. What would we do without it? Reprogramming the mind is the hardest thing, but a lot of it reminds me of the saying in the talmud 'mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma' – which means literally “for out of not for its own sake comes for its own sake.” So if you begin doing something good for an ulterior motive, you will come to do good for its own sake. It may sound weird but I have found this similar to the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy technique which encourages a client to carry out the actions that they fear and through repetition of the action, they can overcome the cognitive thoughts behind it. 

So each day I write something positive, I will be erasing one negative thought. I know it sounds simplistic, but " We are what we believe we are!" (C.S Lewis).

REPROGRAMMING... BACK SOON!