New years resolution

Happy New year!

This past month has been an unprecedented one in my life; filled with openness, communication and even a little excitement.  I do hope that this year only continues in a good way for me, and for all those around me.  It should be a year filled with happiness, good tidings and good health!

The feelings of excitement also come along with a huge amount of fear.  An emotion which on some days attempts to engulf me, overtaking any positive effects the blog has brought on so far.  For when I think about feeling better, I am filled with an overwhelming anxiety of the unknown.  It is like waking up to a world full of choices, questions and unfamiliarity.  In other words - reality!

Thinking about what I want in life, where I want to go, who I want to be almost paralyses me.  Whilst trying to focus on the present, as is needed in recovery, I couldn't allow myself to even take a quick glimpse of what I wanted in the years to come.  It was about getting through the now, waking up, getting up and getting on with the day ahead. But now I have more space for the hopes and goals.  Difficult thoughts.

Although I know I am not meant to stay where I am forever, and that life is about growing and moving on,  I do need to give myself time to get used to these new ideas and concepts in my head.  Give yourself time Rivkah. Remember, pressurising yourself and aiming for perfection is not real recovery!

The alien concept of being kind to myself can only have a positive impact on my life!  So I'll try.  Call it my new years resolution! Or maybe don't cos then it will never happen!

Shana tova for 2013!!!!

Xx

Comments

  1. Anonymous1 January 2013 at 16:49

    Rivkah, you're an inspiration to all of us!
    This year should be filled with all good things for you!
    Thinking of you as always from afar!
    Devorah xx

    ReplyDelete

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