Rivkah, i dnt think the lights are ever on.. We just kinda put one foot in front of the other and stumble along, with the help of occasional flashes of light showing us the right direction! Hang in there! Lotsa love xx Cheved
Had a team meeting at work today and I realised I had been doing this job now for almost 8 months and I still don't know everything that is expected of me. It is a scary feeling for me. I'm normally the one who seems confident in what I am doing and I need to feel in control. I felt so lost today. I really love the people I work with and I am really enjoying the work I do, but because the past 6-8 months have been such a rollercoaster, I have been off work more than I have been there. It is hard not to feel anxious when tables and graphs measuring how well each team within my department are doing and I don't even understand the numbers never mind how I come into the picture. Apparently I need to write a list of objectives for the director. The only objective that springs to mind is to keep getting up in the morning to get to work and staying at work for my full hours... A feat I'm proud of sometimes. I just don't think the director will see it quite in the same ...
For as long as I can remember I have been different to those around me. My interests weren’t the same as others, my ability to express myself was limited and instead of being able to verbalise my struggles, I only managed to keep them inside of me. From a young age these internalised struggles rapidly turned into anxiety, depression and anorexia. I didn’t have a clue about mental illness when I was a teenager. This wasn’t something taught about in school, not something spoken about at home and certainly something seen as ‘taboo’ within the Orthodox Jewish Community. I am the third of a family of 6 children and both my older siblings were straight A students with an innate ability to manage a good social life. At 14, both my older siblings left home and concurrently my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal Cancer. In tandem with this, I became more introverted and found I wasn’t able to understand the interests and activities my classmates and peers found to be so...
On Friday 28th November 2014 (6 Kislev 5775), my dear Grandfather, Poppa Leslie, passed away. It is now just over three weeks since his passing and I have come to a place in my head where I feel I can write something small about the most amazing person I have ever known. Poppa Leslie was someone whom no-one can think of without smiling. Think of a person who has a joke to say for any situation, someone who can make you smile whatever your mood; someone who never complains though is obviously in tremendous pain. This, and so much more, was my grandfather. I don't think anything I can say can give the 87 years of Poppa's life justice, There are so many tales, so many stories that I do not know and so many parts of his life I don't have full knowledge of. But from the parts that I do know I can say that he was a true tzadik; a righteous man. I cannot think of one bad memory, one thing to say that would cast any negativity on him. It is hard for me t...
Rivkah, everyone has their ups and downs but it doesn't stop friends being friends.
ReplyDeleteWe're all here for you!
Love Devorah xxx
Rivkah, i dnt think the lights are ever on.. We just kinda put one foot in front of the other and stumble along, with the help of occasional flashes of light showing us the right direction! Hang in there! Lotsa love xx Cheved
ReplyDeleteTry not to worry about the light switch, just find a torch first. And a Starbucks. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSamCandour
Thanx Sam... YOu just made me smile for the first time today! Really appreciate your support xxx
Delete