Update

It's been a long time since I have given myself the luxury to just sit down at my computer and relax.  It feels strange to be back on here actually; like I have been away for years.

As you may know, I have been doing a law degree with the Open University for some time now (some time meaning 7+ years!) I started it in February 2008 when I was in Sem in Manchester and somehow or other managed to drag it out until just under a month ago.  I have finally completed the degree and hope to get my results next week.  I am world’s biggest procrastinator so I kept pushing things off until after my exam - including writing a blog post.  Now that it has been 3+ weeks since my exam was written I don’t want to procrastinate any more.  I have missed writing on here and sharing.  I always find that I feel so much better after writing a post.

So I have now finished my degree and am sort of left in limbo land almost.  I am not yet sure where I am going to go from here career wise and I am not used to having free time.  I am so avoidant of doing anything different to my usual routine due to anxiety that being left without my law work has thrown me a little. I seem to fill up my time no problem with small things, but I’m finding it hard not to feel a sort of emptiness - a void.  After spending so long working towards something it's a bit of a comedown now.

I am still working and have moved into a beautiful new flat.  I have so many things going for me and I am always so appreciative of it.  But I feel guilty that I still don't feel like I am moving on anywhere (other than a slight move in geographical location).  I still feel like I am behind in life and that I am never going to just have a 'normal' life.  Everyone seems to move on at a much faster pace than me and I can't help feeling inadequate and small - I feel different and I struggle with that.
My Beautiful flat
But I will plod on as fast as I can in my own way – and will now go back onto my lovely balcony which never fails to calm me down.


I also promise to be more active back on here again.  I’ve missed my dear blog! Hope you didn’t miss me too much


Rivkah x

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