2024 update

 12 years ago I started a blog to detail my journey into 'recovery' from mental illness. 

In the years I wrote on here I received so much support and love through these pages and I liked to think that I helped someone somewhere in the world to feel less alone.

In 2016 I went through a horrendous trauma at the hands of my local NHS mental health Trust. I found it almost impossible to open up about this as it was the people who were meant to help me in crisis that lead me to such a distressing place.

I went through a court case and had to speak in front of a judge and jury of the assault that happened to me. I lost my ability to speak out after that. I was scared, alone and afraid. I almost lost my life more than once after this.

It may have been 8 years since the assault but I still relive the trauma I went through almost daily. Finding others who have been in similar situations has once again made me feel stronger in the fight to be heard - our experiences should not be for nothing. 

I recently did an interview with Sky News and The Independent (which can be read here) regarding the shocking figures of assaults in mental health settings. I am not holding my breath waiting for changes to be made. However, it reignited the spark within me to start sharing things again. 

I wont be silenced - not by the mental health trust and not by those uncomfortable with the truth.

I am still alive but so much of the time it doesn't feel like living. It feels like surviving. I want to live and if part of that is being open to the world, then so be it.